From C-Suite to a farm in South Africa: Why Wholeness Is the New Measure of Leadership

I used to think success was all about the title, scope and impact. A big role, a broad span of control, the chance to demonstrate my leadership skills and develop successors — that was what mattered. And for a fair amount of time, it did. 

Later, in my early fifties, my view of “success” began to shift. I wanted more than influence and responsibility. I wanted values alignment. I wanted to create environments that were both nurturing and effective. And once I had the title, I knew I needed to do the personal work of separating my identity from it. That work was crucial because without it I couldn’t have walked away.

Today’s ponderings are about the shifts we’ve seen in leadership and why I believe that wholeness is the new measure of what success actually looks like.

Subsidence in traditional success

If I am honest with myself (which I try to be!), the cracks showed up before the exit. I remember when issues that had once been managed began looping back around, again and again, like groundhog day. My natural curiosity and problem-solving instincts (qualities that had fuelled me for years!) weren’t engaging anymore. I was getting tired of the same old problems, tired of watching people ignore the basics, like reviewing standard operating procedures to see what could be leveraged. The spark was gone. 

When fragmentation shows up

There’s one particular story I’ll never forget, one that totally made me rethink everything. 

Our senior leadership team was preparing to announce a new leadership development approach at an all-hands meeting. I knew two things: first, that our team wasn’t ready to talk about the approach with confidence; we hadn’t even worked through the questions ourselves. Second, I had deep misgivings about the approach altogether. 

When the time came, I wanted to be anywhere but in that room. But I was a team player. I did my best, plastered on a professional face, and got through it. Outwardly, I held it together. Inwardly, I carried away scars and self-disappointment. That was fragmentation: being split between my values and my actions.

What wholeness actually feels like

Now, I work from a place of wholeness. For me, that means starting each day by grounding myself in my body. It’s a feeling I come back to again and again: knowing who I am, what I value, and why I lead. My posture shifts when I’m standing whole and strong. 

Despite what it may sound like, wholeness isn’t perfection. Not at all. It’s feeling into your authenticity and knowing the difference between showing up in fragments and showing up fully present.

The hidden cost of leadership

In my opinion, too many leaders sacrifice that wholeness on the climb up the ladder. The first thing to go is time outside of work — time with family, friends, joy, and rest. Work can be pleasurable, of course, but it can also consume all of our discretionary energy. 

I also fell into this trap. Although I was intentional about taking adventurous holidays, disappearing into places where I couldn’t be reached by phone or email, in the day-to-day I didn’t step away enough. Many leaders don’t. And when you stop stepping away, you lose touch with what matters to you most. The actual reason you lead in the first place gets lost in the busy-ness and burnout cycle. 

Wholeness in practice

That’s why I design my retreats the way I do. On our retreats in South Africa, I begin by taking leaders far out of their comfort zones. Johannesburg, safari, the Apartheid and Origins museums — new country, new experiences, new people. It’s stimulating, even a little disorienting. In essence, we shake things the hell up! 

And then, we shift gears. Four days at our lodge in the Drakensberg mountains: wide open space, time in nature, facilitated conversations, creative exploration, and reflection. It’s there, in the slowing down, that the integration happens. People remember who they are. They reconnect with their senses, what they care about, the questions they came with, and loosely holding what feels possible for them for what’s ahead.

They begin to imagine what’s possible in the space that opens up. That’s wholeness: being fully present, body and mind, welcoming what comes.

Move into your own wholeness

If I had one message for current leaders, it would be this: when you feel whole, you emanate that energy. More of you can show up, for your work, for your people, and for yourself. It changes the way you approach decisions, the way you connect, the way you envision what’s possible. When you feel whole, that’s genuinely where the magic is.

Our next retreat is in March. If you’d like to find out more or, head here to read all the details.